“The nature of yoga is to shine the light of awareness into the darkest corners of the body.”
— Jason Crandell
I’m not in love with the yoga I practised in my 20’s anymore.
I first found it when I’d just had my now 19-year-old son.
Life had changed so dramatically from the busy, social butterfly, London chef to mum, back in my home town of Loughborough. I was tired and felt very separate from who I thought I was.
I used to be in charge of my life, in charge of 6 men in a kitchen and in charge of the dance floor every evening. Everything had routine, order and it made so much sense to me. I was in control (or so I thought).
Changing shitty nappies and trying to work out why this small bundle of flesh and bones could make such loud, ear-piercing noises for hours on end was exhausting.
The hardest thing was at the time my partner was still very much in my old world and I found myself feeling lost and lonely.
I needed something to help me feel human again and yes just like many others yoga was it.
Physically, mentally and emotionally I wasn’t in the best shape. I brought the Geri (Ginger Spice) yoga video and whenever I got the chance I popped it in the top loader and got on the mat.
It was my time, my life, my music, my rhythm. I loved it.
I loved a flowing, bendy practice. I’ve always been very flexible so it suited me.
Then in my 30’s after the breakdown of a relationship, I fell in love with strong practices such as Ashtanga and Forrest yoga. I felt weak in life and although I was bendy, I’ve never been physically strong so that’s what I needed.
In my mid 30’s I found Yin yoga and it slowly began to change what yoga meant to me, but, it took time.
Now, in my 40’s I’m not in love with that style of yoga anymore. I still enjoy teaching and doing a flowing, strong practice but it’s not my go on most days and I certainly don’t push myself to my limits.
Don’t get me wrong, I could practice like I used to but I just don’t want to (it might change in the future).
At the moment, it’s not my music, it’s not my rhythm.
I’ve created a space on my mat for kindness, compassion and gentleness.
These qualities in yoga are sometimes hard for me but I rise to the new challenge that yoga brings.
So, today I wanted to share with you a class that has flourished in our online community. I have no idea how it’s evolved, it was natural, it feels good.
Yoga doesn’t always need to be challenging.
Life doesn’t always need to be challenging.
Sometimes we just need some space for nourishment.
I hope you enjoy the practice as much as I enjoy teaching it.
If you enjoy the practice I’d love you to join me for a bit of yoga and meditation:
My meditations are free and have been created to help to support people across the world. It takes many hours for me to create and produce the content. If you benefit from our time together and would like to contribute, please feel free to donate.